pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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