i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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