You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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