So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
