i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
