Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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