dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This toilet bowl is my home.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
