your parents love me but you hate me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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