so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
