Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
