do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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