Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
