you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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