You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i came on her dog
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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