cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
