Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
