I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
