I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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