yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
