Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
