I wish life had little blips of pornography
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
