we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
