11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
