I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
