after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
