I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need to align my fucking chakras
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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