Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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