They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
