she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
