I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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