Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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