this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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