You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I deserve this hangover.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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