we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
