And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
