Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
