ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
