just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
