seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
operation have a gay friend backfired
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
