i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
