Pants 0. Shit 1.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
