Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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