he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
