Kiss
Puke
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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