well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize