Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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