i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
