when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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