You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My vagina is officially offended.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
