Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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